I’ve always loved to collect things: artwork, books, Judaica, culinary treasures. These “things” help to make my house feel like a home, no matter where I’m living. My most treasured “collection,” however, can’t be boxed up or displayed on a shelf. My most valued collection is the friendships I’ve built over the course of my life.
I have friends who have walked beside me since childhood and others who are newer companions on life’s journey. They range in age from teenagers to nonagenarians, live across continents and time zones, and represent a wide spectrum of perspectives and experiences. What unites them is the depth of care and connection we share.
The rabbis of old tell a story about a man named Ivan who asked his friend, “Tell me, my friend, do you know what gives me pain?” His friend replied, “How can I know what gives you pain?” Ivan answered, “True friends know what pains us. They know what brings us joy. They know when to speak and when to remain silent.” The friend then understood what it meant to be a real companion.
Our Jewish tradition further explains the sacred power of friendship. In another rabbinic commentary (Avot d’Rabbi Natan 8) we are taught: “Acquire for yourself a friend.” The sages explain that a true friend is one with whom we eat and drink, study, and share our deepest secrets. Friendship is a holy act of mutual presence and dedication. It means showing up for the good times, difficult times, as well as the every day ordinary times. Sometimes, all it takes is a phone call, or an email or text message to check in and say: "I am thinking about you." Other times, it means making plans to visit, even if you would rather stay home.
This week, as our congregation celebrates our students and the Jewish camps that have shaped them (join us for our Camp Shabbat this evening at 7:00 pm), I am reminded that the friendships formed at camp are often among the deepest and most enduring. Jewish summer camps are not simply places of recreation, they are incubators of identity and belonging. Studies show that three key experiences most powerfully nurture a lasting Jewish identity: a strong Jewish education, a Jewish camp experience, and visiting Israel with one’s peers. Each of these happens in community, not in isolation.
At camp, our children and teens live Jewish values from morning until evening. They sing Hebrew songs around campfires, and after meals at "super-sesh song fests," they celebrate Shabbat under the stars, and form friendships that carry them through adolescence and adulthood. They learn what it means to be part of a Kehillah K'doshah, a sacred community, one that rejoices together, comforts each other, and helps one another grow. Enthusiastic TBO 7th grade student Ava Carbley connected with her Jewish identity by attending the Reform Movements 6 Points Sports Camp. She spoke about the impact camp has on her identity at her celebration of Bat Mitzvah earlier this year, and will share her reflections with us this evening. Like many of our students who love camp, she counts the days from the time camp ends until she can see her friends again. She shares: “Each year is just better than the one before. They are so welcoming and supportive of your goals, and they help you get closer to your religion, and find who you are in Judaism!”
The Torah reminds us in Genesis 2:18, “It is not good for a person to be alone.” From the very beginning, God recognized our need for companionship. Our tradition reinforces this truth in every facet of Jewish life: we need ten people (a minyan) to recite certain prayers. We mark life’s milestones not alone, but surrounded by others who bless, support, and witness our moments of joy and grief.
Friendship, in all its forms, is holy work. It is one of the greatest blessings we can give and receive. Whether forged at summer camp, nurtured across years and miles, or discovered anew in adulthood, friendship reminds us that we are never truly alone. It teaches us to see the divine spark in another person, and in ourselves.
May we each continue to cultivate this sacred “collection” of friendships, and may our communities be strengthened by the love, laughter, and all the moments we share with each other.
Shabbat Shalom!
Rabbi Sharon L. Sobel
Interim Rabbi
Temple Beth Or
rabbisobel@tboraleigh.org
